Hollow Confidence

Everything I do to earn money involves people gathering in groups. I perform for audiences and manage large events (marathons, cycle rides, fundraisers, etc.) for participants. This pandemic brought all that to an interminable pause and in the end times downtime I’ve found myself focused on roasting vegetables, reaching out to check in with some people I care about but don’t contact much, and in this case writing a song.

We all found ourselves in lockdown and increasingly dire straits, but one company I often work for named Eventage took the opportunity to help support the fleet of freelancers it relies on for seasonal work by putting together a live streamed talent show last Friday. That positive peer pressure plus an offhand comment from my Partner that made me laugh inside inspired me to turn off whatever nonsense on TV I was self-medicating with, pick up my laptop, and overcome the inertia of I-DON’T-WANNA to write another rap about some things on my mind. I ended up putting it together in a week and just in time for the show. The last minute is the only minute.

People I’ve worked with in a professional context for years came together to do the same thing we always do, but this time to also share some talents beyond hustling through the last minute to get a 40 foot inflatable arch up over the West Side Highway, zip tie a coroplast sign to a tent in 30mph winds, or load a giant festival’s worth of assets into a 26’ box truck during an unseasonably arctic downpour. To my genuine delight it warmed my surprisingly beleaguered heart to witness and play with those friendly faces even just on screens. Plus we apparently raised over $6,000 to be paid to the performers and folks in the E-Team family most in need which I assume will be apportioned according to height so I should make out like a bandit.

The idea of accountability has been rattling around my mind a lot lo these last few months/years and I’ve started to work on what might become a documentary I guess? That’s for another day when I can interview people more readily without fear of spreading Plague 2020. For the time being here’s the song I wrote so if you missed that show you can still see it. I hope if you enjoy it you pass it along to someone else who might too.

Like. A virus. (ugh)

I’ve still got to record the audio properly before I release it on the things but the basement bunker tirade with socially distant vocals video was just too fun not to share.