3CD (Three Card Donny)

Here's a song I wrote and recorded with some friends of mine.  I hope you enjoy it, feel free to share with anyone you like.  

It's available on all sorts of streaming and download services (Spotify, iTunes, Google Play, Amazon Music, iHeart Radio, Pandora, etc.) but:

YOU CAN DOWNLOAD IT HERE FOR FREE BELOW

*If you feel inclined to send me money you can use Square Cash or Venmo and I'll put it towards paying the musicians and then shooting a music video, but really you should probably just donate to Planned Parenthood or the ACLU or something.  Shooting a video sounds hard.

DRUMS: Brandon Vitruls of  THE NEW ROYALS

HARP:  Rachel Miller of  BEYOND PLUCK

VIOLIN: Ben Fordham

SUPPORTING VOCALS: Shelby Becker

    VERSE ONE

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain

‘Cause what he’s doin’s workin’, flirtin’ and circle jerkin’

Double chin twerkin', spurtin’ lies and doublespeak

The man lost the vote, we still hand him the Presidency?

 

See I was taught that what you reap is what you sow

Nose to grindstone, workin’ folks blind to

The meaning underneath a damn ball cap slogan

“No pain no gain", well here we go again

 

Here’s the church, and here is the steeple

Open up the doors to reveal the people

Facts are for pussies, grab ‘em, throw ‘em out the door

                Lie to me…

And then lie to me, I’ll believe.  ‪Sheryl Crow.

 

We always love to see an underdog story

More we root for glory.  As long as you don’t bore me

I’ll throw anybody under the bus

To make us great again. United States of just us

 

     CHORUS

We weren’t ready for a female.

We'd rather talk about her e-mails.

But yo, the devil’s in the details.

We let a demagogue prevail.

 

I said, we weren’t ready for a female?

We'd rather talk about some e-mails?

Look for the devil in the details.

We let a demagogue prevail.

 

    VERSE TWO

Who hacked the DNC?  “Da, you know me.”

Small hands, tall tales. Big bad man huffin', puffin’

Screamin’ like an adolescent heathen while he's scheming, crying

"Why’s everybody always picking on me?"

 

The man even had Vladimir Putin tootin' his horn,

The FBI showin' scorn, with James Comey droppin’ 

Bombshell broadcasts, with no substance

Finger point, side glance. Liar liar fire pants

 

A candidate with Bannon’s hand up it just made a puppet dance 

And shimmy all the way to the White House, No Doubt

Don’t Speak

                      a word unless it’s something so absurd 

That people can’t even be sure they heard it come out yo’ mouth, so

 

The strategy to deplete the integrity of the media 

Was to give ‘em somethin’ they ain’t never seen before

The novelty and scandal he spit from a Twitter handle

They couldn't be bothered to ponder what’s at the man’s core?

 

    BRIDGE 

I’m a hustla baby.  

         The man’s a hustler

I just want you to know

         And he WANTS you TO KNOW

It ain’t where I been.  

         Nah, it ain’t where he’s been

It’s where I’m ‘bout to go.

         It’s where he’s ‘bout to go

 

And I’ma run this country

         Yeah, he ‘gon run the country

And be who I am.    

          He gon’ do it like he BEEN doin’ it

With the Fourth Estate,

         “They just don’t know WHAT to do”

Putty in my hand

         “Kneel before Zod!”

Now give it to me

 

    VERSE THREE

The First Mamma, mademoiselle Obama?

Calmer than the rest of us workin' through all our trauma

“When they go low, we go high.” Drama

Massachusetts, California, smokin’ up Nevada. 

 

                                                                      Huh?

Treat other people how You wanna be treated

                                                                     Oh, okay

Unless they’re Puerto Rican, Mexican, from Sweden

Woman, Gay, or Muslim, better watch how you speak

‘Fore the Alt-Right champ burns you up in a.  Tweet

 

The Golden Rule applies to every single citizen

But if you’re not American it’s practically ‪Original Sin 

Whoever has the gold makes the rules.

Damn, Three Card Donny takin’ fools to school

 

And yeah it feels colder, but yo.  Winter’s over.

So keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer

‘Cause the nasty women know it’s always dark before the dawn

                 Get.     That.

You gotta      Get.       That dirt off your shoulder.  Yo

 

     CHORUS

We weren’t ready for a female

We'd rather talk about her e-mails

But yo, the devil’s in the details

We let a demagogue prevail

 

I said, we weren’t ready for a female?

We'd rather talk about some e-mails?

Look for the devil in the details

 

Michelle Obama OUTRO:

“Don’t be afraid.  You hear me?  Young people, don’t be afraid.  Be focused.  Be determined.  Be hopeful."

A Song In The Works

Word around the campfire is there was a bit of an election last year and not everybody's thrilled about how it turned out.  I too felt feelings and thought thoughts and I know as an often-artist the real trick for any community is to keep sharing those thoughts and feelings so that we better understand each other.  I think there's so much insight and progress to be gained from open hearted conversation about this stuff and getting those conversations going within ourselves and between each other is a powerful gift artists can give us.  

Distraction and entertainment are nice too.  I had a mood one week and wrote a rap song that I'm working on with a couple talented musicians.  It's in the early stages now but I think it'll be fun so I'm gonna make it into a music video once it's finished.  Here's a fun early draft, more to follow!

So Much So Good.

I had a kind of a crazy time for a hot minute there towards the end of 2016.  Just before working the NYC Marathon (anything to avoid having to run it!) I found myself in a recording studio with THE Samuel L. Jackson when a friend of mine I hadn't talked to in a while ended up hiring him to sing a funky dinosaur song and the very next day I was playing a character in an immersive theatre experience at a private party for THE Will Smith.  And then a week later I was dressed up as a security guard for a couple lines of dialogue in an upcoming feature, turns out I don't look too bad in uniform.  Unless I'm wrong?  I have erratic taste, I'd be the last to know.

FullSizeRender-1.jpg

Some Children Think I Have A Career!

I've neglected to share a bunch of the stuff I've been up to for awhile now but I imagine I'll get around to that sometime soon.  In the interim I couldn't help but share a couple glimpses of my recent opportunity to celebrate my friend Caitlin Ingram's birthday by participating in Career Day where she teaches over at Villa Madonna Academy High School/Junior High in Villa Hills, Kentucky.  Along with guest panelists Olivia Plath, Jared Joplin, and Ben Raanan, I got to share some of my career experiences with some up and coming theatre students, and they gave me some great advice on how I might one day start a career telling stories.

My 15 Minutes of Fame

I seldom know where my career will take me but this morning it had me on a local TV promo spot for the sexy crimefighting play I'm doing at The Know.  We open tomorrow night and our new friends, producer Tiffany and on-air talent Kara, welcomed fellow castmates Sola Thompson (happy birthday Sola!) and Linnea Bond on their show on Fox19 this morning for a little fight choreography segment.  Now I've officially been on TV.  Which is exciting.  Wait.  Which is exciting!  That's better.  Plus I do a cool jumpy kip up thing at the end.  Fun!

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE PROMO

The Butterfly Effect

That's probably overstating it but it was the best I could do in the 1/8th of a second I spent coming up with a title for this post.  You deserve better, 3 people who will ever read this.  And in the future I'll give you that.  But for now I just wanted to share that I sometimes work for the non-profit company that runs the annual TD Five Boro Bike Tour in NYC.  They also put together a few other regional bike rides every year and I've had a lot of memorable and exhausting experiences working with them, and even though I've moved across the country I still make my way back to join the team when I can.  Especially since I just found out that they put a photo of me working a Volunteer tent up on their website.  Those ladies absolutely crushed the tasks at hand that day and we made some of the best impromptu PB&J sandwiches I've ever seen.  Always cut on the diagonal.

CLICK BELOW TO SEE ME WORKING WITH HIGH SCHOOL VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS

BikeNY

Getting in The Know

I haven't performed in a full length live play since my way back when Shakespeare days but next week I start rehearsals to play the nefarious Doctor X in a comic book themed play called Hearts Like Fists at The Know Theater in Cincinnati, OH.  We'll rehearse all of March and perform through April 25th.

I get to be the villain!  If I can survive the cold this is gonna be a lot of fun.  And hopefully good.  And probably cold.  Okay I'm mostly worried about the cold, although I should be more concerned with the 16 pages of text I couldn't exactly memorize while driving around the city this past month for my Fashion Week gig.  Good point, Thinking Aloud Self.  I'd better get on that.

The Best A Man Can Get

I had the misfortune of a major financial calamity a couple weeks ago but the small commercial gig I just booked and filmed a couple days ago should help soften the blow.  Despite a fun audition where I met the quirky comedic Jamie Janek I didn't initially land the gig but I did feel pretty good about the experience.  Fast forward to 9:30 last Friday night (about 10 hours before they started shooting and 3 hours after the guy they originally cast bailed on them) when I got the call asking if I was available and interested in getting paid to do some acting work while getting to feel like a hero for swooping in at the 11th hour.  That's basically my entire wheelhouse so I quickly agreed only to find out that as a bonus I'd get to be working opposite the mesmerizing Christina Myers again 2 years after doing a play with her back in NYC.

Naturally I had to take Jamie to lunch the next day.  It seemed the right way to repay the Fates for the series of coincidences that led to me getting the great gig, plus if I'm lucky I'll get the chance to work with her after all.  I love it when a plan comes together but I'll take a little good luck when I can get it.  

If you want to take a look at the edit we put together you have to know the secret password, just click the link below and ask me.  I can legally tell you though that I've never before had so much fun talking about deodorant with a beautiful woman while we pretended a bunch of other people weren't also in the room and recording us.

PLEASE CONTACT ME DIRECTLY TO SEE THE COMMERCIAL

More Of The Best Medicine

You know I think I might eventually get really good at this.  Last week I got to see Louis CK perform about 8 feet away from me on the main stage at The Comedy Store with a new comedy friend.  (Happy birthday, Diana!)  He said he's 47 now, he's been doing comedy for 30 years, and the first 20 years absolutely sucked.  Coincidentally my Meisner training at The Esper Studio taught me that it takes 20 years to become an actor.  I guess I'd work on something else if I didn't do this performance life but that's what I'm focused on now so game on.

In this latest comedy set I talk a bit about my experiences in children's theatre with the Traveling Lantern Theatre Company I worked with for a couple seasons back when I lived in California the first time.  After a season with them based out of  San Diego I moved to Philadelphia to be with a girl I was in love with.  When things went south with the girl I was still living in Philadelpia.  Not a good venue change, I don't do well with cold.  My exit strategy was another season on the road with Traveling Lantern.

At the end of next month I'm headed back to NYC for a month to make some dollars and then spending March and April acting in a new play called Hearts Like Fists at The Know Theater in Cincinnati.  Until then?  Drinking and comedy.  Game on.

CLICK BELOW TO VIEW MY COMEDY SET:

The Man In The Black Hat ON: STEREOTYPES

I Shot A Pilot!

But I did not shoot the deputy.  Or in this case co-pilot, I guess.  After a fun improv audition I ended up cast in a quirky little pilot.  Once we had a team together we spent a long night in a rented house playing with a script and doing our thing and here's what we came up with.  I love it when a plan comes together.  Or in this case, whatever we did that night, I guess.

TO VIEW THE PILOT CLICK BELOW:

ANTISOCIALLY CORRECT

Okay okay, I'll be a comedian.

I'm nervous about actually trying to work in comedy because of all the reasons.  Plus it's one thing that makes me really uncomfortable so I'm thinking that's probably good enough reason to give it a shot.  I got booked for my second set at Flappers in Burbank a couple Saturdays ago and they want me back for another show in the main room on November 13th.  They know me there as The Man In The Black Hat and I've settled on that as my Nom de Comédie.  Look for me in comedy clubs near you, I guess.

I just got the recording of my latest set and it seemed to go over pretty well.  So fine.  I'll be a comedian.  Here goes nothing.

 

TO VIEW MY LATEST SET CLICK BELOW:

FLAPPERS COMEDY CLUB, YOOHOO ROOM: POOP AND BABIES

Standup Comedy, Finally

After years of being told I should give it I try I finally gave it a try.  I got some advice and pointers from my UCB Improv 101 classmate Laura House and went to an audition in the main room at Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank a couple days ago and I was not awful.  I'd prepared far too much material that I had to awkwardly edit for time, I talked way too fast with a lot of "um"s and "like"s in there, but I did not completely fall apart despite having to go up after watching an 11 year old girl named Trista absolutely crush her set.  

Standup is something I've felt like I had to do for a long long time, so many people have told me my whole life that I should be doing it and before I got onstage I was more nervous than I'd been since that one time my best friend and I jumped out of a perfectly good airplane.

Anyways it was technically an audition and 2 days later they booked me for a Saturday evening show on August 16th so now I guess I should learn how to do this job too.  It's okay, I like learning.  Game on.

 

TO HEAR THE AUDIO CLICK BELOW:

STANDUP AUDITION, MAIN ROOM AT FLAPPERS, BURBANK

My Lunch Buddy

I don't know that dogs are man's best  friend per se but I certainly love sharing with them.  Whether it's love or lunch, sharing means caring.  Here's 90 seconds of impromptu buddy comedy improv puppytime with me and my friend Olivia.

TO VIEW THE VIDEO CLICK BELOW:

SHARING OM NOMS

UCB Improv 201 Graduation

I didn't wear a hat and gown or anything but I made it through the gauntlet that was Jill Donnelly.  Her patience and experience were inexhaustible and I'm grateful to have learned so much from her.  Well she taught a lot at any rate, how much I actually learned remains to be seen.  I also had the pleasure of playing with a great crew of classmates and I'm looking to round some of them up to get back into the fray with me.  Improv 301.  It's happening. 

TO VIEW THE BOOTLEG VIDEO CLICK BELOW:

IMPROV 201 GRADUATION SHOW

Happy 75th Anniversary, HP!

I'm happy to say I just booked a voiceover gig for HP's 75th Anniversary event in Las Vegas. Recording for them in my home studio got me one step closer to my childhood dream of someday voicing an animated Disney villain.  Jafar was an early inspiration.  He was tall and I was tall, he understood the Golden Rule the same way I did, and we both had a thing for Jasmine.

CLICK TO HEAR A SAMPLE

True Love. Double. (music video)

I couldn't help playing with the lyrics while singing along to Taylor Swift's "I Knew You Were Trouble" and when they ended up involving the soon-ending show How I Met Your Mother a friend of mine convinced me to write out a whole song's worth and actually film the music video.  I have trouble saying no to women.  Also peer pressure.  Also I wanted to because fun.

TO VIEW THE SHORT FILM CLICK BELOW:

TRUE LOVE.  DOUBLE.

UCB Educated, Mother Approved

If you wanted to see my 101 graduation show from my very first formal Improv training then I'm sorry I didn't warn you about it in January.  I opted for the 1 week intensive and was immensely fortunate to have Mike Leffingwell teaching every day of it.  He neglected some of the finer points (apparently the "isation" after "improv" is silent even in print) but was a really inspiring and insightful teacher.  Now that I'm back in town after a stint in NYC to replenish my coffers working Fashion Week I've registered for 201 taught starting on Palm Sunday, graduation show scheduled for June 15th.

TO SEE MY 101 GRADUATION SHOW CLICK BELOW:

...I'm sorry for lying just then.  Some of the students in my class prudently expressed a strong desire for their amateur work to be kept from public view so you'll have to imagine me being a solid teammate and at least moderately entertaining.  Also cartoonishly taller than most everyone else.  Comedy gold.

QueenBee Of Mushroomtown (short film)

I was part of a creative cadre of filmmakers back in New York for awhile and this was one of our finer moments, depending which of us you talk to.  We won a handful of Best categories in the NYC Film Race that year including best ensemble and cinematography but the real victory was getting my first on-screen kiss out of the way.  Shame it had to be such a beardy bearded man.

TO VIEW THE SHORT FILM CLICK BELOW:

QUEENBEE OF MUSHROOMTOWN

Coin Artist (short film)

I thought I'd give producing another shot and I had a highly motivated and talented friend I'd worked with before, one Lauretta Prevost, direct me in this adaptation of a short story I'd been enamored with since I first read it in high school.  The many lessons I learned on this project include:

- Don't cast your girlfriend if you can avoid it.

- Don't film in your own living space if you can avoid it.

- Maybe do some exercise for a week or two before appearing in a scene without a shirt.

TO VIEW THE SHORT FILM CLICK BELOW:

COIN ARTIST